The Lead Up...

2012 - How did I get here...?

I was overweight, emotionally drained, physically unwell and mentally exhausted! 

I had endured 18 months of hell with a very sick teenage son who was suffering at the hands of depression. I could do nothing else but think of him and his well-being during the darker months. I was worried sick for most of that time. Worried that I would lose my son to suicide. Those of you who have children know how incredibly hard it is to watch your child get hurt. But imagine not being able to comfort them or take their pain away. That was my life for 18 months.  I would worry all day and when I knew my younger teenage son was at home, I knew David was safe. I would stay late at work to prep for the next day. 

This created a vicious cycle. I would work late which would test my patience and I would feel tired. So tired, that I couldn't bear to think about cooking dinner. I would call home and ask my boys, what take-aways do you want me to pick up on the way home? This went on for 18 months. I was focusing on David so much, I hadn't realised my own peril. Weight was slowly, but surely, piling on. I had ballooned out to a whopping 85kgs. 

I knew I was not comfortable with this. I had to buy new jeans and when I had finally, for the first time in my entire life, had to purchase an item of clothing with size 18 on the tag. I knew things were not heading in the right direction for me.  I was still physically and mentally exhausted and I didn't have the energy to change things. I wasn't silly, I knew things had to change. 

But with anything in life, you have to be ready to make that change and for some of us there needs to be a trigger. That one moment in time, or a conversation, or a piece of information that makes everything make sense and you know what you have to do. For me it was a piece of very important and life changing information...